The longer you are in an exclusive relationship with a woman the worse off you are at being able to attract women if and when the two of you break up.
This isn't meant to discourage you from getting into a relationship with a woman; instead it is to let you know how important knowing how to attract women really is.
Part of maintaining a good relationship is to know how to keep the attraction levels high enough and the ability to be willing to end the relationship rather than do something you don't want.
If you already knew how to attract women before getting into the relationship even though your skills might get rusty.
Maintaining the attraction level and having the confidence in knowing that if you must end it you can and still attract women; allows you to take the steps you have to take in order to keep the relationship going strong or end it if necessary.
However, if you enter the relationship simply feeling lucky that you got her or no real idea how you attracted her.
You will not know how to maintain the attraction level and might not be willing to end it instead simply doing what she wants in the hopes that it somehow works out.
When the time comes for you to begin the process of finding another woman you are much more likely to continue trying to get the woman you already knew you were lucky to have in the first place.
Not only does this not work at attracting women it does more to push the woman you were lucky to have further away from you.
Teddy Shabba is a Dating Coach for Men who has a daily newsletter that provides you with a wealth of information on how to be more successful with women. You can sign up for the Teddy Shabba Dating Advice Newsletter for Men now.
Also with over 500 articles from a variety of dating experts just for men our Dating Advice and Seduction Article Database is the perfect place for any man.
To learn more about How To Attract Women visit our article section Attract Women Today
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
Sunday, July 1, 2007
Did You Know That You Can Make A Man Desire You So Much That He Craves You?
We women are very good at making ourselves desirable in the beginning of a relationship but really bad at keeping the attraction after the initial “oh-wow!” wears off and the man you’ve been dating for weeks or months starts to lose interest. How do you make sure that doesn’t happen with your new catch?
Before I get to that, let’s be clear on why most men lose interest in a woman after only a few dates. There are several different reasons for each man and woman (intellectual, emotional, financial, sexual, spiritual, social etc.) but it all comes down to ONE thing and that is, his PERCEPTION of what it’ll be like if he continued to date you.
So how to you make sure his perception of you continues to make him want to date you? How do you keep him interested in you? How do you make him want you more than any other woman? How do you make him stay faithful to you?
The most common advice out there is that to make him desire you more, don't call him or pretend to be busy or dangle sex in front of him but withhold it when he comes for it. The problem with this kind of advice is that you can’t create a relationship that is going to have enough depth by maneuvering people around their better judgment. There is eventually a negative backlash and you may find out that you’ve wasted so much time and energy on a man' who is not worth it or one who is simply not into you!
There is nothing wrong with “playing hard to get” if it means creating enough mystery and sexual tension that makes a man feel good about himself, his initial perception of you and his feelings about the future of the relationship.
Let me explain a little bit about "sexual tension" in this particular regard. The extremely distorted misconception in our society is that the “sexual” is only limited to sex and therefore the mention of “sexual tension” immediately conjures images of actions and behaviours immediately leading to sexual intercourse- bathing and applying fragrance, putting on your sexiest clothes, rubbing his feet or nibbling his ear, or giving him any other nonverbal signals that suggest that you want and are ready for sexual intercourse. These actions and behaviours may and can get you “sex” but they do not necessarily make a man sexually attracted to you.
Regardless of terminology and explanations, sexual attraction is distinct from, but always includes physical characteristics (physical state of the body and body-language fluency), mental characteristics (thought process, beliefs and attitudes), emotional characteristics (moods and attachment patterns), social characteristics (interpersonal skills and ability to get along) and spiritual characteristics (sense of self and connection to the a higher power). It is in that sense wholistic in nature and sometimes a complex situation.
Your man -- like most men -- was initially drawn to an intimate relationship with you (more than friends) because he perceived you to be sexually attractive. He may have liked “other” things about you but the sexual attraction provided that extra oomph that moved him to take the necessary steps to pursue you. Sexual attraction is a kind of a regenerating energy that makes men (and women) quiver with sensation and anticipation (pounding heart, butterflies in the stomach, sweating palms, weak knees, euphoria and so forth). Alone, it can not evolve into a lasting relationship but without it, the relationship lacks fire and passion to sustain the relationship in a fulfilling way.
If you want to keep your man interested in you and make him want you more than any other woman you must not only make sure that his initial perception of you remains but that it is confirmed again and again. Even better, make sure that it exceed his initial perception and keep making it better by the minute.
To be able to do that you have to be very clear on what his own very SEXUAL IMPRINT is. Each man is unique and has a particular combination of things (mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, social, etc. that make his inner clock tick. That is what you have to figure out and work with. No flirting skills or seduction techniques or even silly dating rules will work if you are missing what TRULY appeals to his very OWN SEXUAL IMPRINT.
Physically
The biggest mistake men and women make is assume that one size fits-all and all men are attracted to the SAME women’s features. I’ve seen women so pre-occupied with their busts: lifting them, thrusting them forward and pulling the neckline down and all the while the man she is with is checking out the woman in a mini-skirt standing over there and she's not even looking his direction. I've also met women who are really angry because they spent thousands of dollars trying lose weight and be more attractive to their guys only for them to find out that their men are cheating on them with women nowhere as skinny or the men leave the relationship to pursue the "not skinny" woman. Knowing what his natural inclinations are allows you to focus specifically on accentuating and emphasizing particular physical aspects for the greatest appeal.
Mentally
Mental stimulation has very little to do how high you score on an IQ test or how many academic degrees you have. It is possible for a man or woman to be fantastically “brainy” and not be someone you can have a stimulating “intellectual” conversation with. Another word for that is boring. To be intellectually attractive to your man you must not only become somewhat knowledgeable and be able to follow him with curiosity, interest, and intelligence into the world that he finds interesting and mentally stimulating but also capable of leading him into your own world in an interesting and stimulating way. This intellectual and mutual exchange of worlds ensures an easy and continual flow of mental attraction back and forth.
Emotionally
The field of emotional attraction is still relatively new and many of us in modern societies are just beginning to learn the healthiest ways of dealing with emotions. However, that doesn’t change the fact that our human psyche has been pre-programmed to be uniquely sensitive to the intensity, smoothness, regularity, and rhythm of human emotions, and whether we gain or lose energy from being around a particular person. It is not possible to scientifically measure how much energy we gain or lose from being around a particular person, but for whatever reason, some people are easy to be around and some aren’t. By taking time to really zero on the common “mood of life” that the two of you share, you are more likely to be able to make him feel that you are special and believe with great certainty that you bring enjoyment, excitement, arousal, intimacy, nurturance, or some reward related to personal expansion into his life.
Spiritually
This is probably the most neglected aspect of sexual attraction. Spirituality and sexuality are inseparable and meant to go together. When spirituality is ignored, sexuality is suppressed, unhealthy and perverted and when sexuality is denied, spirituality is misused, damaging and confining. But when spirituality and sexuality are nurtured as inseparable, we experience “heaven on earth. Integrating spirituality and sexuality into your sense of self makes you more relaxed - free spirited, open minded, present within the now moment, connected with your environment - a state which allows sexual energy to flow through your mind and body creating an intense “aura” of effortless sex appeal. You don't even have to learn any techniques on flirting or seduction because everything you do is so damn sexy without you even intending to make it sexy.
With a little more understanding of how SEXUAL IMPRINTS operate (there is more) and more practice using them, you can make a man desire and crave you so much that he’s stuck on you - after all you’re basically the only woman who has his “number” and can punch it anywhere anytime.
There is nothing you can do to make a man "love you", he has to come to that place on his own, but you can certainly make him feel good about his initial perception of you and what it’ll be like if he continued to date you. The more "positive" he feels, the faster he moves towards that place of "love".
About the Author: Christine Akiteng is an internationally renowned Sexual Confidence/Dating Coach and author of eBook: The Art Of Seducing Out Of Fullness™. Her unique approach to dating has helped hundreds create positive, constructive, honest and fulfilling relationships.
Christine's websites: http://www.torontosnumber1datedoctor.com and http://www.theartofseducingoutoffullness.com
Before I get to that, let’s be clear on why most men lose interest in a woman after only a few dates. There are several different reasons for each man and woman (intellectual, emotional, financial, sexual, spiritual, social etc.) but it all comes down to ONE thing and that is, his PERCEPTION of what it’ll be like if he continued to date you.
So how to you make sure his perception of you continues to make him want to date you? How do you keep him interested in you? How do you make him want you more than any other woman? How do you make him stay faithful to you?
The most common advice out there is that to make him desire you more, don't call him or pretend to be busy or dangle sex in front of him but withhold it when he comes for it. The problem with this kind of advice is that you can’t create a relationship that is going to have enough depth by maneuvering people around their better judgment. There is eventually a negative backlash and you may find out that you’ve wasted so much time and energy on a man' who is not worth it or one who is simply not into you!
There is nothing wrong with “playing hard to get” if it means creating enough mystery and sexual tension that makes a man feel good about himself, his initial perception of you and his feelings about the future of the relationship.
Let me explain a little bit about "sexual tension" in this particular regard. The extremely distorted misconception in our society is that the “sexual” is only limited to sex and therefore the mention of “sexual tension” immediately conjures images of actions and behaviours immediately leading to sexual intercourse- bathing and applying fragrance, putting on your sexiest clothes, rubbing his feet or nibbling his ear, or giving him any other nonverbal signals that suggest that you want and are ready for sexual intercourse. These actions and behaviours may and can get you “sex” but they do not necessarily make a man sexually attracted to you.
Regardless of terminology and explanations, sexual attraction is distinct from, but always includes physical characteristics (physical state of the body and body-language fluency), mental characteristics (thought process, beliefs and attitudes), emotional characteristics (moods and attachment patterns), social characteristics (interpersonal skills and ability to get along) and spiritual characteristics (sense of self and connection to the a higher power). It is in that sense wholistic in nature and sometimes a complex situation.
Your man -- like most men -- was initially drawn to an intimate relationship with you (more than friends) because he perceived you to be sexually attractive. He may have liked “other” things about you but the sexual attraction provided that extra oomph that moved him to take the necessary steps to pursue you. Sexual attraction is a kind of a regenerating energy that makes men (and women) quiver with sensation and anticipation (pounding heart, butterflies in the stomach, sweating palms, weak knees, euphoria and so forth). Alone, it can not evolve into a lasting relationship but without it, the relationship lacks fire and passion to sustain the relationship in a fulfilling way.
If you want to keep your man interested in you and make him want you more than any other woman you must not only make sure that his initial perception of you remains but that it is confirmed again and again. Even better, make sure that it exceed his initial perception and keep making it better by the minute.
To be able to do that you have to be very clear on what his own very SEXUAL IMPRINT is. Each man is unique and has a particular combination of things (mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, social, etc. that make his inner clock tick. That is what you have to figure out and work with. No flirting skills or seduction techniques or even silly dating rules will work if you are missing what TRULY appeals to his very OWN SEXUAL IMPRINT.
Physically
The biggest mistake men and women make is assume that one size fits-all and all men are attracted to the SAME women’s features. I’ve seen women so pre-occupied with their busts: lifting them, thrusting them forward and pulling the neckline down and all the while the man she is with is checking out the woman in a mini-skirt standing over there and she's not even looking his direction. I've also met women who are really angry because they spent thousands of dollars trying lose weight and be more attractive to their guys only for them to find out that their men are cheating on them with women nowhere as skinny or the men leave the relationship to pursue the "not skinny" woman. Knowing what his natural inclinations are allows you to focus specifically on accentuating and emphasizing particular physical aspects for the greatest appeal.
Mentally
Mental stimulation has very little to do how high you score on an IQ test or how many academic degrees you have. It is possible for a man or woman to be fantastically “brainy” and not be someone you can have a stimulating “intellectual” conversation with. Another word for that is boring. To be intellectually attractive to your man you must not only become somewhat knowledgeable and be able to follow him with curiosity, interest, and intelligence into the world that he finds interesting and mentally stimulating but also capable of leading him into your own world in an interesting and stimulating way. This intellectual and mutual exchange of worlds ensures an easy and continual flow of mental attraction back and forth.
Emotionally
The field of emotional attraction is still relatively new and many of us in modern societies are just beginning to learn the healthiest ways of dealing with emotions. However, that doesn’t change the fact that our human psyche has been pre-programmed to be uniquely sensitive to the intensity, smoothness, regularity, and rhythm of human emotions, and whether we gain or lose energy from being around a particular person. It is not possible to scientifically measure how much energy we gain or lose from being around a particular person, but for whatever reason, some people are easy to be around and some aren’t. By taking time to really zero on the common “mood of life” that the two of you share, you are more likely to be able to make him feel that you are special and believe with great certainty that you bring enjoyment, excitement, arousal, intimacy, nurturance, or some reward related to personal expansion into his life.
Spiritually
This is probably the most neglected aspect of sexual attraction. Spirituality and sexuality are inseparable and meant to go together. When spirituality is ignored, sexuality is suppressed, unhealthy and perverted and when sexuality is denied, spirituality is misused, damaging and confining. But when spirituality and sexuality are nurtured as inseparable, we experience “heaven on earth. Integrating spirituality and sexuality into your sense of self makes you more relaxed - free spirited, open minded, present within the now moment, connected with your environment - a state which allows sexual energy to flow through your mind and body creating an intense “aura” of effortless sex appeal. You don't even have to learn any techniques on flirting or seduction because everything you do is so damn sexy without you even intending to make it sexy.
With a little more understanding of how SEXUAL IMPRINTS operate (there is more) and more practice using them, you can make a man desire and crave you so much that he’s stuck on you - after all you’re basically the only woman who has his “number” and can punch it anywhere anytime.
There is nothing you can do to make a man "love you", he has to come to that place on his own, but you can certainly make him feel good about his initial perception of you and what it’ll be like if he continued to date you. The more "positive" he feels, the faster he moves towards that place of "love".
About the Author: Christine Akiteng is an internationally renowned Sexual Confidence/Dating Coach and author of eBook: The Art Of Seducing Out Of Fullness™. Her unique approach to dating has helped hundreds create positive, constructive, honest and fulfilling relationships.
Christine's websites: http://www.torontosnumber1datedoctor.com and http://www.theartofseducingoutoffullness.com
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Tool Old for Love? 5 Myths About Starting Over Again After 50 Debunked
Recently, I met with a woman who has an interesting story. It seems that she and her husband have been separated for many years. They have gone through almost all the steps of the divorce, and there remains only one step to finalize the divorce: taking the signed documents to the judge to pronounce the divorce final. And the interesting thing is that she has held onto those documents for 2 ½ years! She - and her husband - have lived in limbo for 2 ½ years!
As she told her story, she began to sort out the reasons for not completing the divorce, which is that she is 59 and fearful about re-entering the dating/mating scene.
“I’m just too old! And I don’t know anything about dating anymore - it’s just been too long! Everything has changed!” She was nearly in tears as she told her story.
She was stuck in one of the 5 deadly myths about being a mature age and starting over in love.
Myth #1: It just can’t happen.
It’s not true that a life of love and intimacy is only for the young and beautiful. All it takes is that one person, and using the laws of attraction, you can draw that person to you.
Myth #2: I don’t know enough.
Sure, the dating scene has changed since you were a teen, but the people you are likely to want to date - people of your own age - were born and raised in your era. This means that they learned to date for the first time just when you did, so they will have the same understanding of how to date and relate as you do.
Myth #3: I’m too old to start again.
And as for those things that are different now, in spite of the tired cliché “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks,” you can learn all you need to know about dating in this decade. In fact, your maturity and life experience will help you to learn all you need to know - and very quickly.
Myth #4: I will just get my heart broken.
Actually, I can’t promise that this won’t happen, but I can promise that you will recover, and that you will learn from the experience. Life is risky, and when we put ourselves out there with the intent to love, we are vulnerable. But the alternative is to live a shriveled half-life. And you can learn how to date consciously so that you can balance your head with your heart in your relationships.
Myth #5: Love now could never be as sweet as it once was.
This is surely one of the biggest myths. Falling in love at any age feels just the same as it did when we were 16. Humans never get too old to feel that zing! And the sex, even with our aging bodies, can actually be far better, far more fulfilling than when we were young.
Like a fine wine, life and - more importantly - love can become more wonderful because of - not in spite of - aging. There is a desert wine known as late harvest wine. This wine is created from select grapes that are left to hang on the vine late into the season; the grapes are affected by Botrytis - the “noble rot" - that causes them to become dry and shriveled on the vine - and highly concentrated with sugar. When harvested by hand, pressed, and fermented, these grapes produce a sweet, luscious, honeyed, nectar-like wine. Late harvest love can be as delicious and satisfying as this wonderful late harvest wine.
So go for life. Go for love. Drink deep from that sweet, luscious, honeyed, nectar-like cup! It’s never too late for love, and it’s worth any risk!
And when you're ready to go for the joys of late harvest love, you're invited to visit http://YourPersonalLoveCoach.com - from singles and relationship coach Sandra Rohr. You can also sign up for my free 5-day e-course, Posting a Winning Profile to the Internet.
As she told her story, she began to sort out the reasons for not completing the divorce, which is that she is 59 and fearful about re-entering the dating/mating scene.
“I’m just too old! And I don’t know anything about dating anymore - it’s just been too long! Everything has changed!” She was nearly in tears as she told her story.
She was stuck in one of the 5 deadly myths about being a mature age and starting over in love.
Myth #1: It just can’t happen.
It’s not true that a life of love and intimacy is only for the young and beautiful. All it takes is that one person, and using the laws of attraction, you can draw that person to you.
Myth #2: I don’t know enough.
Sure, the dating scene has changed since you were a teen, but the people you are likely to want to date - people of your own age - were born and raised in your era. This means that they learned to date for the first time just when you did, so they will have the same understanding of how to date and relate as you do.
Myth #3: I’m too old to start again.
And as for those things that are different now, in spite of the tired cliché “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks,” you can learn all you need to know about dating in this decade. In fact, your maturity and life experience will help you to learn all you need to know - and very quickly.
Myth #4: I will just get my heart broken.
Actually, I can’t promise that this won’t happen, but I can promise that you will recover, and that you will learn from the experience. Life is risky, and when we put ourselves out there with the intent to love, we are vulnerable. But the alternative is to live a shriveled half-life. And you can learn how to date consciously so that you can balance your head with your heart in your relationships.
Myth #5: Love now could never be as sweet as it once was.
This is surely one of the biggest myths. Falling in love at any age feels just the same as it did when we were 16. Humans never get too old to feel that zing! And the sex, even with our aging bodies, can actually be far better, far more fulfilling than when we were young.
Like a fine wine, life and - more importantly - love can become more wonderful because of - not in spite of - aging. There is a desert wine known as late harvest wine. This wine is created from select grapes that are left to hang on the vine late into the season; the grapes are affected by Botrytis - the “noble rot" - that causes them to become dry and shriveled on the vine - and highly concentrated with sugar. When harvested by hand, pressed, and fermented, these grapes produce a sweet, luscious, honeyed, nectar-like wine. Late harvest love can be as delicious and satisfying as this wonderful late harvest wine.
So go for life. Go for love. Drink deep from that sweet, luscious, honeyed, nectar-like cup! It’s never too late for love, and it’s worth any risk!
And when you're ready to go for the joys of late harvest love, you're invited to visit http://YourPersonalLoveCoach.com - from singles and relationship coach Sandra Rohr. You can also sign up for my free 5-day e-course, Posting a Winning Profile to the Internet.
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