Intimacy and Passion - we all need more. Don't we?

Relationship Advice for "Amping" Up Your Passion and Intimacy
By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Susie_Collins]Susie Collins

It's pretty much a universal fact that deep down everyone just wants to be loved. What is often overlooked or taken for granted, however, is that the ways people want to be loved can be quite different. We are all individuals with particular likes and dislikes so it makes sense that when it comes to experiencing love; we are not all the same.

Believe it or not, part of amping up the intimacy in your relationship is exploring the differences between you and your partner-especially when it comes to how you each want to be loved. What it all comes down to is tuning in to your desires and listening with openness to your partner's desires. The results can be a more passionate, close and connected loving relationship.

Have you ever prepared a "dream date" for your love with the intention to treat him or her and show those deep feelings you share? Maybe it was a quiet evening at home with flowers, a special meal, and a movie. After the preparations are complete, your love arrives home for this surprise and while he or she expresses appreciation, just doesn't seem as jazzed about the whole thing as you are. So your "dream date" isn't quite so dreamy after all. You might even feel some irritation or fear that your partner doesn't feel the excitement of the moment as you do.

Does a "dream date" flop mean that this couple's marriage is in trouble? Probably not. It could just mean that they haven't taken the time to really get to know how each of them wants to be loved.

It might be that your partner feels more excited and special about going out dancing together than staying home. It could also be that there's something from his or her past that make this particular scenario not feel so special. For example, maybe your love had a past partner who gave him or her flowers frequently and insincerely. If this was the case, flowers would not have the effect you might be intending.

Take some time to answer these questions to avoid "dream date" flops like this and, to instead amp up intimacy....

1.) How do you want to be loved?

So how do you want to be loved? It seems like a no-brainer kind of question, but it may not be. Have you ever sat down and really thought about what you like and don't like in terms of receiving love? If not, do it!

When you spend some time tuning in to what really makes you feel good, you will be clearer about what you want (and what you don't want). You may not even realize that the ways you've been loved just don't feel as good to you as others that are possible. This can (and hopefully will) be a fun exploration. As you figure out what makes you feel fabulous love inside, share with your partner.

2.) How many ways can you think of being loved?

This may seem like a silly exercise but it can be quite helpful. We often place limits on the ways we express love. The "dream date" flop described above consisted of the traditional elements-flowers, food, a movie. What if there were more?

Make a list of all of the ways you might express your love to someone else and be sure to put your answers to question #1. on that list. Nothing is off-limits and try to keep judgments out of it. Some people like to fix or make things for the ones they love. Others spend money on gifts to express their love. Still others write poems or songs to show their love. From the very simple to more involved; it can be physical, emotional, or spiritual-love can be experienced in so many ways.

Now that you've made your list, you can expand on what you came up with in question #1. Love can feel deeper and richer still as you discover the variety of its forms.

3.) How does your love want to be loved?

The exploration continues! You might want to back up to question #2. and share the list-making with your partner. It's probable that you will each come up with unique ideas. And it's quite possible that you will find ways of loving that you hadn't thought of before. As a couple, you could choose some to consciously try out.

Encourage your partner to consider how he or she wants to be loved just as you did. Now it's your turn to listen with an open heart and (perhaps) an adventurous spirit. We do not suggest you express your love in ways that don't feel genuine to you however. As we all know, expressions of love that aren't heartfelt don't feel very loving. Instead, try to stay open to what your partner is wanting and always return to your feelings for him or her.

Come from your heart as you discover what makes you feel loved and as you expand your ways of loving by listening to your partner's desires. This process is all about exploring, sharing and connecting.

Susie and Otto Collins are Relationship Coaches and authors who help people create lives that are filled with more passion, love and connection. For more tips on turning up the heat in your love relationship, sign up for their free mini-course at [http://www.redhotloverelationships.com]Red Hot Love Relationships.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Susie_Collins http://EzineArticles.com/?Relationship-Advice-for-Amping-Up-Your-Passion-and-Intimacy&id=900370

Bet you never tried this with your girlfriend!

How To Use Your Girlfriend And Have Her Love You For It
By Mac Mcmann

Gallagher, that icon of the eighties said it best, 'the difference between a male and a female is a male can walk by a shoe store, especially when he has shoes on his feet.' You have my permission to use it at those wonderful upcoming holiday parties; I don't know if you still need Gallagher's permission. But the truth of the matter is, women love to shop, women love to spend money, women love to buy things. I am not sure they like things more than men; in fact I am quite sure men like their possessions more than women, partly because the act of obtaining them is not a religious experience for them, but the possessions men own tend to be more revered. Men also tend to have fewer of them.

Men's homes are less knick-knackery, less cluttered, less homey. Men's homes tend to be stark compared to women's, tend to have better electronics, and perhaps one incredible chair or sofa. Some exercise equipment, and a coffee table. What they lack is stuff like, paintings, candles, pillows that complement the curtains, kitchen tables that weren't salvaged from some garage. Towels that complement anything in the house, and a bed that is meant to be a show piece instead of only for two things, passing out on, and you know what else. To that end men, you should keep it clean, and your room fairly decent. Keep your soiled briefs and tainted socks in a laundry basket, not left in a trail to your pass out zone.

So it occurred to me one hung over morning that a painting above my fireplace would be nice. The living room was let's face it, bland. Not only was it dominated by that ridiculously large TV I had to have for a Super Bowl party four years ago, that was now screaming outdated like a white Chevrolet Suburban, but my girl friend was right I needed some color in here. I liked the Aztec clay that my walls were painted; the trouble is everything else was some shade of brown or other. Even the curtains my honey special ordered from The Pottery Barn. In her defense my walls at that time were going to be painted blue, so everything she brought in was a hue of brown, and the rug I picked out, and the sofa my mother bought were all brown.. It goes unnoticed by me, most of the time, and my girl friend stopped remarking on it after the first seven months or so.

But on this dreary lonely, quiet morning, where even the soulful sounds of Lucinda Williams couldn't comfort the blues I was working up, I decided I needed art. Which meant a day, or a weekend, or a month of weekends, going through galleries being met by shopkeepers that were either pretentious or hovering, looking at one painting after another, until they blurred together like past loves.

I would have to take my girlfriend of course, I didn't always agree with her taste, but she knows my taste even better than I do. And going into a shop without her by my side, would be like letting people know I have moments where I am insecure. Neither of which is ever going to happen. Shopping with my special someone is fun, to a point. When it comes to shopping I just don't have that much stamina, those shop lights just tire my eyes, my head, and my feet. My favorite shops have comfortable chairs in a corner, where I can sit out of the way until my sweetie is ready to move on. She never buys anything with me, and it feels like when I take her to a ball game. The gesture is nice, but the energy to enjoy it just isn't there. Certain activities were created to be enjoyed with your gender. Men have sports and sports, both watching and playing. I would have added drinking, but there are times when drinking with a woman has its definite pay-offs. Women have shopping, eating lunch, going to salons, power walking, and going to the bathroom.

When my girl friend goes shopping with her friends, things are purchased, deals are made, and memories are created. Celebratory desserts and wine consumed, and she comes home pleased with life. Victory has been had. It is as if she took three strokes off her golf score.

So the prospect of getting art on my fireplace was not looking bright. Either giving up weekend after weekend thumbing through art, until succumbing to that hopelessness that would lead me to purchase the very next non-ridiculous thing I saw. Or just sit here in all my UPSness décor.

And then it dawned on me, I can give her my credit card, with the direction on buying something for over my fireplace. She can round up her troops, there is shopping to be had, cars will be filled, plans of attack made, and she has a credit card. They can have desserts, she can sneak on there a pair of shoes, and I get a nice piece of art to complement my living room, my tastes. And the next hung over morning I have, I can admire my wall above my fireplace, and then worry about the throw pillows.

Mac McMann writes from the male point of view at http://www.manslant.com He can be reached at mac@manslant.com

Having problems holding on to your man?

5 Powerful Tips To Ensure Your Man Does Not Cheat On You
By Steve Ubah

Without wasting much time, here they are:

Keep him intellectually stimulated

Men are easily bored by women who lack ideas and are not up to speed on the affairs of the day. In order to hold the interest of your man, you must be able to discuss ideas that will expand his knowledge base. Teach him something he does not know, or share your opinion on a subject you know he is passionate about, and you can be sure he will want to have you around for a long time.

Look your best

Beauty and brains attract men like moths to a flame. If you keep him intellectually stimulated, and you also have the body that excites him, you have a powerful magnet that can keep him hooked on you for as long as you wish. Make sure that you do what you must to look good. Do your hair, nails, put on a little makeup, and whatever you do, stay away from layer and layers of makeup. Get clothes that accentuate the best part of you. Do not wear tight-fitting clothes, if you do not have the shapely body to go with it. Know what fits you and wear it.

If you have not enrolled in a gym, you need to do so right away. It is not enough to just eat the right foods and pop diet pills daily. You must eat a balanced diet and enroll in an exercise regimen to help increase your metabolism. Find a workout partner, or sign up for a personal trainer at your gym who can motivate you and design a workout program to fix your problem areas. You will certainly gain good health along with a positive mental attitude. Remember, when you keep fit and look good, you are not doing it just for your man. You are doing it for yourself as well.

Massage his ego once in while

Let your man know how good he is to you and how much you value him in your life. When your man feels that he is adding value to your life, when he feels appreciated, your are massaging his ego. Now you must be careful not to overdo this; otherwise it loses its impact, and your man may see you as a "brown noser".

Give him his space

Do not monitor how he spends every second of the day. Do not put him on a timer. Treat your man like an adult who has the ability to manage how he wants to spend his time. The more freedom you give him, more trusted he feels. And when your man feels you trust him, he is less apt to go out and cheat on you. Men will run away from you, if you try to cramp their style. If you keep tracking your where your man goes and who he is spending time with, you run the risk of alienating him.

Keep him sexually satisfied

A sexually satisfied man is like a dog that is well fed; you will not find it digging through the garbage. A sexually satisfied man is like an employee that works for a company that gives all employees full medical benefits, a great salary and excellent bonuses. You will not see an employee of such a company looking for a job elsewhere. I have used some analogies to attempt to paint a picture for you, but these scenarios fit the point I am making.

To find out the quickest way to make your man fall madly in love with you, visit http://smartwomansguide.com. You will get proven tips, tricks and techniques you can use to make your love sizzle and make your man fall head over heels in love with you.