How To Fall In Love For The Rest Of Your Life

Do you want to fall in love and stay in love forever? Do you want a relationship that endures through good times and hard times? Singles can often get discouraged. “Will I be alone the rest of my life?” is a frequent question. You don’t have to be alone if you don’t want to be. HOWEVER-- you may have to quiet the discouraging voices of yourself and others, and keep remembering that you deserve a great love.

Recently, at a conference on relationships, one of the wedding planners summed up her observations: “The brides we work with span a range of all ages and are so terrified they are going to wind up alone, they have suddenly and indiscriminately chosen someone to marry. They then get totally absorbed in the planning of the wedding. This activity is a distraction from the larger issue of what they are going to do with the rest of their life—AFTER the wedding!”

To fall in love for the rest of your life, you must quiet the inner voice of fear. Have you made some decisions based on fear that you now regret? Many people panic and choose someone who they silently know is not right for them. They have listened to the negative voices, which have guided their choices. Here are some phrases that singles often hear:

“No one is perfect.”

To fall in love and stay in love is to know that there is someone who is perfect just for you. When you love someone for good and solid reasons, your bond can be deep enough to work through issues and challenges. When you choose well to begin with, you are committed to each other and the life you are making together.

“I’m not getting any younger.”

You’re right --and neither is anyone else. You can still have a relationship. More people get divorced or wait longer to get married than at any other time in history. Consequently, there are more singles in every age group for you to choose from, and more people looking for a relationship of substance as they get older.

“There is no such thing as a perfect relationship.”

This is the excuse we make when we have lost the courage and heart to keep looking for someone wonderful. Because relationships have not worked out for us in the past, we look for the flaws in other peoples’ marriages and point to those as the reason we don’t want a partner. It helps to be reminded that there are people who are together who not only survive—they thrive. If you would like to find a mate, remember that the search is scary, but courage is not an absence of fear. Courage is taking the actions you need in order to get what you want, and persevering until you get it.

“All marriages have problems.”

Of course they do! That doesn't mean you can't still love the person you have chosen. And when you examine what is going on between two people, you will discover that we need our relationship problems to help us grow. Working them out brings us our life’s lessons. So choose a life partner who is worth the stretch you will inevitably make.

“Everyone has flaws.”

To have the courage to fall in love, you need a positive context for human flaws. Our flaws define us, give us the challenges we have to work through, and ultimately, show us our strengths.

“It’s too late to meet someone.”

It’s never too late to fall in love—unless you say so. Consider the following:

* Network Tell your family and friends you want to meet someone.

* Internet Write a good profile; send a flattering picture; use caution.

* Go out —and be friendly when you get there.

If you don’t want to be alone, but you also don’t want to compromise to have a relationship, listen carefully for the voices that make some of the above remarks. They may seem like harmless words, but those phrases become your self-limiting thoughts. Those are the thoughts that keep you from being able to fall in love for the rest of your life.

Visit http://www.tonjaweimer.com or http://www.singlesdatingtips.com for more tips, skills, and insight on dating, relationships, singles, and love. Subscribe to our F*ree Savvy Dating Newsletter from master single's coach, life coach, and syndicated columnist, Tonja Weimer. Copyright 2006, Tonja Weimer. (Please note source if reprinting this article.)